From Scuttle to Umbra With Love
by Tatsurou-san
Summary: When the 'last' Umbra Witch stumbles across a lost Genie Child, she finds herself taking more responsibility than she ever bargained for, though she may find the result rather enjoyable in an all new way.
1. Chapter 1

The little cafe in New York was relatively peaceful. The few customers in attendance quietly enjoyed their drinks while for the most part ignoring each other and the world around them, focused on their own issues. The one customer that was an exception to this was also the only one not lost in her own thoughts. Then again, it was hard to drag one's eyes away from a tall, curvaceous woman dressed in only a skintight black bodysuit, heeled boots, gloves, a cape-like shawl, and butterfly patterned glasses.

Bayonetta herself had little patience for the world around her at the moment, as her focus was on the worlds around the world around her. As she sipped at her tea without really tasting it, she kept her focus on Purgatorio, the reflection of Earth that acted as a gateway to Paradiso, the land of angels, and Inferno, the land of demons. She'd received information that the energies of the four dimensions were interacting oddly in the area, and she was less interested in the taste of local delicacies than in the cause of that discord.

Her attention was dragged back to Earth, however, as a tug on her outfit pulled her gaze down. As her outfit was actually made of her magically controlled hair, any pull on it was rather uncomfortable. Turning her eyes to the source, she saw a tiny little girl - 2 at the absolute oldest - looking up at her in hopeful hunger. She had bright blue eyes, olive skin, and - most surprising of all - a shock of bright purple hair that seemed almost to writhe in the air around her head in the breeze. She was clad only in a red smock and what looked like a gold tiara with a red gem in the front, which held her hair back from her face.

"Well aren't you adorable," Bayonetta commented dryly as she looked the child over. Despite her odd hair color, she saw nothing else unusual about the child, and no connection to Purgatorio. "Where is your mother? Shouldn't she be looking after you?"

The girl's eyes dropped, and she sank onto her rear as she slumped forward. Bayonetta didn't need the girl to speak to recognize what that meant. Now that she could remember her past, she remembered the pain of losing a parent all too well.

Thinking quickly, Bayonetta reached into her shawl and pulled out a few wrapped lollipops. "Care for a sweet?" she offered as she held out the green and purple treats.

The little girl gasped happily and grabbed one of the purple lollipops. Pulling the wrapper off, she stuck the butterfly shaped sweet into her mouth and began to suck on it, her whole body seeming almost to glow as the energies within the treat filled her.

"So you do have some magic in you after all," Bayonetta murmured as she watched the girl enjoy her treat. At that moment, however, her attention was dragged back to Purgatorio. The bright flash of white and gold could only be one thing. Grabbing the child in her arms, she dove to the side just as the severed angel wing flew through the air, landing on the echo of the table she'd been sitting at in Purgatorio. Those who could not see the other dimension were shocked to see the table collapse with no explanation.

"Stay here," she instructed the child as she set her down in what she hoped was a safe spot, inside the cafe behind the counter, well past the range of easy danger unless the angel fighting was particularly large...though the wing size suggested it wasn't. With that, she turned and leapt into Purgatorio.

It didn't take her long to reach the site of the battle, where she saw a cerberus-looking demon tearing into an angel that somewhat resembled a griffon, which was giving as good as it got as it attacked with multiple wings and beaks. "Well, look who's making quite the mess," Bayonetta purred as she strolled in, immediately getting the attention of the beasts. "Don't you know better than to mess up the lawn when you play? Mommy's _ very _ disappointed in you." Drawing Kulshedra, she cracked the demonic whip in the air. "Now come here and get your lashes, bad boys."

The demon immediately broke off from the fight and lunged for Bayonetta. The angel, however, tried to dash past her, which led to the demon trying to pursue it while ignoring her.

Bayonetta quickly flipped out of the way of the charge, lashing out with whip cracks and gunshots as she danced between the two, tearing into them until she was able to trap them in a conjured iron maiden, crushing halos and orbs out of them. "Odd, they didn't even fight back," she murmured as she slipped out of Witch Time, heading back towards the cafe while still in Purgatorio. "What could be so important to demons and angels that I'm ignored? Quite unusual-"

A shriek of fear snapped her out of her musings, sending her racing back for the cafe. There she saw an angel shaped like a clock having crashed through the side of the cafe reaching for the little girl, only to be forced to pull back when a horse shaped demon drove a horn into its belly while trying to grab the back of the girl's smock with its teeth.

Lunging in, Bayonetta lashed out with Shuraba, her demonic katana. Cutting down the angel, she drove the demon back with shots from the guns at her heels before scooping up the little girl. "So angels and demons both want you, do they?" she purred as she shifted the girl to her back, directing her hair to hold her tight against her in a make-shift papoose. "Well, that's reason enough for me to make sure they don't get you." As she sensed an aggressive approach, she leapt out the nearest window.

A massive gold and white winged serpent smashed into the cafe, its jaws closing right behind Bayonetta's heels. _ The child is ours, Witch! _ the voice of the angels echoed in the fabric of Purgatorio, a shaping of will more than spoken words.

"I think not," Bayonetta chided calmly, leaping out of the way of another attack before leaping onto the creature's back. "I think she'll be staying with me." Racing up its back, she lashed her whip around its throat and hauled back. "You don't know how to treat a lady properly-"

A streak of purple lashed past Bayonetta's head, driving into the beast's skull before pulling back. The golden light in the angel burst from the strike, sending the winged serpent crashing into the ground to scatter into Halos.

Turning, Bayonetta saw the girl's hair pulling back to behind her head, weaving itself into a long ponytail. "Well, well, looks like you have some talent," she murmured in a pleased tone. As a demon arose to attack, Bayonetta idly lashed out. Her sleeve withdrew, shaping a portal as her Wicked Weave called forth the power of Madama Butterfly, her patron demon. The Infernal Lady's massive fist lashed out of the portal, leaving the offending creature a paste against the nearest wall. "Something I'll need to investigate. Good thing the Gates are nearby." Seeing that most of the demons and angels had been dispersed, she ducked into a nearby alley and slipped out of Purgatorio. Smirking, she headed for a nearby bar, the sign above proudly declaring it to be "The Gates of Hell".

* * *

Bayonetta smiled to herself as she stepped into the smokey atmosphere of the somewhat otherworldly establishment. The tables, carpet, and ceiling curtains were all in various shades of deep blue, giving the impression one had stepped into a piece of the night sky. At the back of the large chamber was the bar, a tall, well built black man standing behind it as he cleaned a glass idly. The kimono he wore seemed somewhat out of place, and yet he looked perfectly natural in it. "Quite the ruckus out there," he called out as Bayonetta approached the bar. "Any idea what it was about?"

"As best as I can tell," she said as she took a seat on a stool, slipping the child off her back and into her arms, "beasties from both sides were fighting over this little one. All I know about her for sure is that she has some sort of magic, and some command of her hair. Could she be Umbrum, Rodin?"

Rodin leaned forward towards the girl, staring for a time. He then lowered his shades, golden light visible in his eyes as he examined her. "No...definitely not Umbrum," he said nervously. Pushing his shades up, he turned to stare at Bayonetta. "Where did you manage to find a Genie Child?"

As the little girl playfully tugged on the rings Rodin wore on his hand, Bayonetta arched her sculpted eyebrows. "A _ Genie _ child? Are you serious?"

"Dead serious," he replied as he idly patted the child's head to calm her. "And the fact she's even here is even worse...and needs to be dealt with."

"This sounds like quite the story I need to hear," Bayonetta observed as she idly let the little girl bat at her shawl...only to turn in surprise as she suddenly transformed into a tiny purple monkey and attempted to climb her. "The sooner the better," she added a trifle nervously.

"I'll explain what I know," Rodin promised. "Just let me mix up something for her to eat to hold her attention before she figures out how to break into my weapon's cabinet…"


	2. Chapter 2

It didn't take long for Rodin to mix up a bowl of porridge, surprising Bayonetta that he could mix things other than drinks. Once he set it down on the bar, the child immediately clambered up next to it before changing back from a monkey and began to eat it a handful at a time. After making sure she wouldn't overbalance or make too much of a mess, Rodin and Bayonetta turned to face each other. "So, that story?" she purred curiously.

"You know the story of the Trinity of Realities and Jubileus?" Rodin began carefully. Bayonetta simply raised her left eyebrow archly. "Right, of course you are. Well, there's some of that story that...pretty much nobody knows. Angels and Demons weren't the only supernatural beings of that time that were involved in the conflict. And one particular race was...exceptionally potent in neutralizing any opposition."

"Genies?" Bayonetta asked archly. "How were they so potent?" She glanced down at the child, who had managed to get porridge all over her face. "I just can't see it." Pulling out a napkin, she gently wiped the little one's face clean, making her smile happily.

"Angels and Demons have their limits," Rodin explained calmly. "However much power they have, that's _all_ the power they have, and they can only use that power in the magic forms that work for them, and even then they're somewhat bound by physics. If a demon breathes fire, it's going to behave like fire. Genies, though..." He rubbed his chin as he watched the girl. "Genies could work their magic directly on the fabric of reality. In battle, that meant even turning the magic of their foes against them...but the more dangerous aspect was if the Genie had a Master."

"You're talking about granting wishes?" Bayonetta chuckled, unsure if she should take it seriously.

"Yes, considering it was a Wish that split the Realities," Rodin stated flatly, making Bayonetta's eyes go wide. "Both demons and angels were eager to bind the genies to them to be able to make the wishes...but if the binding was improper or the loyalty of the genie wasn't earned, it would more often than not blow up in their faces, often killing the genie in the process as they refused to be bound against their will."

"Monkey's Paw wishes?" Bayonetta observed idly. At Rodin's nod, she took a sip of the drink Rodin had prepared for her while making porridge for the Genie Child. "And...one wish split Reality?"

"That's right," Rodin confirmed. "Jubileus was acting to try and enforce a way of being that was unbearable to Genies and Humans..." He briefly fiddled with his cigar, though did not ignite it. "So a Wish was made that Reality become such that no individual's will could reshape it. This split Reality into the Trinity, and severed the Right and Left Eyes from Jubileus. As a result, we've got the world as it is."

Bayonetta bit her lip nervously as she turned to the little girl. "Then she...?"

"Not on her own," Rodin corrected. "Though she is of the same bloodline as the Genie who granted that wish...but she's only Half-Genie. Her magic isn't strong enough to reshape reality directly." He frowned. "But then again, if she were forced into a Contract..."

"Binding and amplifying magic..." Bayonetta murmured worriedly. "Any Demon or Angel that got ahold of her could use her to reshape reality...and she doesn't know enough about her own magic to fight them."

"That about sums it up," Rodin agreed softly. "And...until she does, or _someone_ has her magic under control, she can't come back in here."

"Why not?" Bayonetta asked in surprise.

"Her magic is still bound to reality," Rodin explained calmly. "The only reason this place works the way it does is because it's slightly outside reality. That's why neither Demons nor Angels can find the place, and you only do when I want you to be able to or when there's great need. The more and longer she's in here, the more attuned to normal reality it becomes...and then Angels and Demons can find it."

"Are you telling me I need to play Nanny?" Bayonetta demanded archly. "I'm hardly suited to that."

"Didn't do to badly with your younger self," Rodin pointed out with a smirk. "And she _does_ need to learn to defend herself. Who better than you to protect and teach her?"

"There's a problem there," Bayonetta pointed out. "The only method of combat I know is that of an Umbra Witch, and _that_ involves making a contract with a Demon for power, the very Contract we don't want her being forced into." She frowned worriedly at the little girl. "And I don't know if I'd trust even my own patron, Madama Butterfly, with the power to reshape reality..."

"Can't help but agree with you there," Rodin agreed as the little girl finished eating. She then toddled over to sit in Bayonetta's lap, snuggling up to her. "And that's assuming that combat style would even be compatible with Genie magic..."

"I've already seen her use her hair to fight," Bayonetta pointed out as the girl's hair flicked porridge out seemingly of its own accord before binding itself back into a long ponytail. The girl then pulled it around her like a security blanket. "It should work for her, if we can find a being trustworthy and flexible enough to work with her. Of course, _finding_ one..."

"Flexible..." Rodin murmured under his breath. "Actually, maybe there is. We don't want a Demon or an Angel to get ahold of her...but what about a Kami?"

"A what?" Bayonetta asked, raising an eyebrow in her confusion.

"One of the higher beings of the Spirit World, an existence tied to Earth but completely independent of the Trinity," Rodin explained calmly. "They don't have much to do with humans, Angels, or Demons...but a few of them would be heavily invested in _not_ letting anyone get access to the power to upset reality. Find the right one..." He frowned. "Then again, some would want to use that power..."

"Sounds like we need someone relatively peaceful near or at the top," Bayonetta mused thoughtfully. "Kami...that's Japanese, right? Amaterasu, perhaps?"

Rodin shook his head. "That wolf's not very responsible, and doesn't hang onto her power very well," he corrected. "However...I might know of a certain fox that can help. Problem is, you'd need to go to her shrine to bespeak her directly, and it's not entirely in this world." He toyed with his cigar. "On the plus side, her domains are Fate and Fortune, so if you do get an audience she has every reason to make sure no one _else_ gets access to this girl, while at the same time no interest in using her for her own ends."

"Sounds like just the lady we need," Bayonetta observed warmly. "What's her name?"

"Kismet," Rodin allowed. "Though as for this little lady-"

"Ja-Day!" the little girl piped up happily.

"...Jadei?" Bayonetta attempted.

The girl shook her head firmly. "Jjjjjjaaaaa-deeeeei!"

"...Shody?"

"Jjjjagdae!"

Bayonetta looked to Rodin. "Think I'm close?"

Rodin rubbed his chin. "Maybe..." He leaned in close. "...Sha?" he asked.

The little girl nodded.

He slowly shaped his mouth the way the girl had been, then spoke. "Shantae?"

"Sha-day!" the girl declared happily, bouncing up and down in Bayonetta's lap.

"What a beautiful name," Bayonetta purred indulgently, scooping the half-genie into the air. "You're going to be quite the star someday."

Neither noticed the wistful, regretful, nostalgic expression that briefly crossed Rodin's face.


	3. Chapter 3

After restocking on a few supplies from Rodin - some ammunition, some lollipops, and some bottles of milk and mashed fruit cups for Shantae - Bayonetta stepped out of the Gates with Shantae once more strapped to her back with her hair in a papoose. As she was also trying to avoid notice if she could, she'd reshaped her own hair wardrobe into an attempt at something more modest, being a simple black bodysuit without any intricate designs. Unfortunately, her hair garb always fit quite snugly, and very little could keep her from standing out when she was over six feet tall plus her gun heels. No amount of attempting to go unnoticed would have her going unarmed.

Settling herself, she glanced back at the child strapped to her back. "You alright back there, little one?"

Shantae babbled happily as she ran her hands over the papoose, apparently fascinated by the reshaping of the hair to create the garb.

Chuckling to herself, Bayonetta walked on to plot out her options. "We need to get to Japan," she murmured thoughtfully, "and we need to be careful about it. From New York, that's..." She pulled out an Atlas and looked over her options. "Hmm...we could fly...but the flying angels and demons have much stronger magic senses than those who are ground bound. The slightest slip from either of us, and they'd be on us like sky piranha, tearing the plane apart..." She rubbed her chin thoughtfully. "Commercial flights are out, then, and they'd pay attention to solo craft for their own purposes...so flying's out."

Shantae made a burbling noise with her lips as she moved her hands through the air above her head before bringing them down in her hair while hissing air out her lips.

"Precisely," Bayonetta confirmed with a chuckle. "So our best bet is to go by land and/or sea. Sailing to Japan from New York..." She traced her finger over the atlas in the paths a ship would have to take. "...no, going that far south in the Atlantic isn't a good idea for us. It brings us too close to the Triangle, and supernatural activity there is too strong for me to risk on an escort mission. So that means the Pacific..." She tracked the aquatic distance from Japan to California...and then overland from California to New York. "And that means going overland..." She made a few quick mental calculations. "...no, I don't think I can risk going top speed the entire way. And I don't have enough supplies to go straight slowly...I'll have to plot a trip with a few backwater stops to resupply..." She glanced back at where the Gates had been, only to see they weren't there anymore. "Which means getting money I can spend elsewhere. This is going to be difficult..."

Shantae leaned up against the back of Bayonetta's head, her hair flicking back and forth idly.

"Yes, I suppose we'll manage somehow," Bayonetta allowed with a soft smile before walking up to her motorcycle. Climbing on board, she shifted herself around until she was comfortable...and then realized a different problem. "I'm going to need to get you a helmet, aren't I?" she asked worriedly, glancing back at Shantae's exposed face.

Smiling, Shantae ducked back against Bayonetta's back, her hair shifting to cover her face and seeming to gleam in the light.

Bayonetta chuckled softly. "Well aren't you clever!" she praised before revving her engine. Hearing Shantae squeal happily at the noise, she leaned forward and hit the road. It would take a few days to reach California, longer since she would need to get enough money for a boat ticket...but it couldn't be that hard, could it?

* * *

As Bayonetta was quick to discover, the trip was anything but straightforward. For one thing, taking the roads less traveled to avoid notice meant a bumpier ride, which frequently led to Shantae getting motion sick, forcing them to stop and rest for a time. For another, minimizing the use of magic meant the long distance travel was harder on Bayonetta than normal as well. As a result, they'd had to take frequent rest stops for Shantae to settle her stomach and for Bayonetta to stretch her legs.

"We'd almost have been better off hitchhiking," Bayonetta muttered under her breath as she once more pushed the motorcycle to the side of the road before setting Shantae down in the seat. "Stay put, I need to take care of something." Once Shantae nodded, she slipped into Purgatorio and made a quick sweep. Finding her target relatively quickly, she dispatched the angel before it realized she was even there. "Not as fun as a real fight," she murmured as she cleaned her weapons before slipping out of Purgatorio, "but I only need one a day, and I can't really take the time or risk just now for more." Walking back up to the motorcycle, she checked her supplies...only to frown as she saw they were running low already. "For as easy as it is to upset your stomach, you wouldn't think you'd eat so much," she murmured playfully, making Shantae giggle. "Where are we going to resupply out here?"

Shantae frowned thoughtfully, then began swaying back and forth. Her hair rose up in its ponytail to float over her head, matching her swaying...before pointing straight out to the southwest. "Ga-nah!" Shantae declared happily, pointing after her hair.

Curious, Bayonetta shaded her eyes and stared in the indicated direction. Just at the edge of her vision, she could indeed spy a roadside diner and motel, the sort of place that sprung up along roads to tend to truckers and the like on long journeys. "Hmm, that could work," Bayonetta murmured thoughtfully. "Food, shelter, and possibly work if they're hiring." Slipping back onto her motorcycle, she drove them slowly towards the building. Noticing a few other signs, she grinned widely. "And it looks like Angels pass through here regularly, too. We should be able to hole up here until we're ready to finish the journey. I'll just need to be...convincing as far as getting hired." She arched her back playfully. "Think I'll manage it, love?" she asked Shantae teasingly, making the young girl giggle wickedly.

* * *

Once her motorcycle was safely parked, Bayonetta walked calmly into the diner...only to pause a bit as she took in the environment. From the red cushioned benches, plain tables, checker pattern wallpaper, and metal stools at the bar, it was practically a cliche roadside diner, the sort where you could read the menu off the fry cook's apron. She took a second look around just to make certain it was an _actual_ diner and she hadn't stepped onto the set for a sitcom by mistake.

Thankfully, she quickly noticed one detail that made it clear this place was actually real. Behind the register was a pimple-faced teen who couldn't tear his eyes off her, his Adam's Apple visibly bobbing up and down as he struggled just to stay conscious. His pimples weren't in an artistic pattern, and pimple cream could be seen in a few spots due to uneven application, which proved it wasn't a set for TV. Smiling, she sauntered up to him, crossing her feet in front of each other with every step. "Well hello, young man," she purred as she leaned into the counter, lifting one hand to almost trail a finger along the line of his chin. "I don't suppose you're the owner of this fine establishment?" she asked with a flirtatious tease to her voice.

"Ughlebughugle..." the teen barely managed to squeak out as his hand jerked, some utensils stacked beside him clattering to the floor.

"Boy!" a voice that was somewhere between that of a matron at a church and a drill instructor for marines barked out from what was plainly the back office as the door swung open. "Why are you making a mess-oh."

Turning, Bayonetta saw the source of the voice. The stocky woman there had a matronly figure, and enough muscle bulging under her clothes she could probably toss an unruly sumo out the door if she wanted. She was dressed in thick flannel, a leather jacket, and a few spiked wristbands. There was a scar running down one side of her weather-beaten face, and one foot was prosthetic and carved from some sort of large tooth. Overall, she gave the impression of someone life had attempted to chew up, spat back out as being too tough, only for her to come back for more and come out ahead.

"Clean that up and go help Pop in the kitchen," she growled at the teen, who quickly stumbled and ducked down to do as ordered. "I'll take care of this." She stomped up to behind the counter as the teen dashed into the kitchen, where a voice yelling in what sounded to Bayonetta remarkably like Ancient Sumerian could be heard before the door swung shut. "So is there a _reason_ you tried to give my poor boy a heart attack instead of just making an order?" she growled.

Bayonetta smiled disarmingly as she sat back. "A moment's mischief, nothing more," she promised, doing her best to not sound condescending...a bit of a struggle compared to how she normally spoke. "And I wasn't actually hoping for food...just yet."

The woman's eyebrow climbed. "Office for rooms is out there," she stated with a gesture.

"Actually...I was hoping you might be...hiring," Bayonetta pointed out softly.

The woman snorted disbelievingly. "And you come all the way out here looking for a job?" she demanded disparagingly. "You're crazy."

"I have been told that a time or two," Bayonetta allowed somewhat playfully. "It's just we've a long ways to go and money and food is running low-"

"We?" the woman pressed insistently.

Smiling gently, Bayonetta shifted Shantae off her back and into the crook of one arm. Thankfully, she'd fallen asleep as they approached the diner, and a vest had appeared on her as the temperature dropped. Between that and her long hair wrapped around her, she just looked bundled up. "I wasn't expecting it to be such a trial looking after her," she admitted softly, keeping her voice down.

The woman's look softened somewhat as she saw the child. "Yours?" she pressed gently.

"In a manner of speaking," Bayonetta allowed evasively. "She needed someone...and I was elected." She sighed softly. "I just wish she handled a motorcycle better. We've had to stop far more often than I'd hoped..."

The woman's other eyebrow rose. "That your bike I heard pulling up?" she asked in surprise.

"Indeed," Bayonetta purred as she glanced out at the bike. "The only way I'd want to travel overland. A pity she doesn't handle ocean as well."

"Just where are you headed, anyway?" the woman asked with a frown. "Japan?"

"Hopefully, yes," Bayonetta allowed. "If I can afford a boat ticket when I get to California..." She bit her lip idly as she mentally ran through her plan, beginning to wonder if she would have to sail there on her own...or gather enough magic to walk there in Witch Time...

"We don't exactly have that much spare cash for hiring extra help," the woman explained carefully. "It's why it's only family here. Best we could manage to pay you is room, board, and tips-"

"I can work with that," Bayonetta agreed eagerly.

A bit too eagerly it seemed as the woman frowned. "What sort of work experience do you have, anyway?" she demanded curtly.

Bayonetta hesitated. She'd never actually held down a _job_, per se, and claiming to be a 'demon hunter' probably wouldn't go over well. "Nothing in food service, I admit," she began carefully. "I've mostly worked as a...negotiator."

"Negotiator?" the woman asked carefully.

Bayonetta smiled impishly. "A group wants to do something. My clients don't want them to. I...convince them not to." Her smile turned a trifle wicked.

"Aggressive negotiations, then?" the woman asked, a hint of approval in her tone.

"Not always," Bayonetta allowed. "A smile and a kind word can sometimes work much better." She paused, noticing the woman examining her fingers closely. "See something you like?" she asked playfully.

"Only that you're no stranger to work," she responded curtly, "and apparently know your way around a few...tools of the trade." She flexed her own hands, indicating numerous work and weapon calluses.

At that moment, the door to the kitchen swung open and an elderly man stepped out. His face seemed almost more wrinkles than actual face, with two beady little eyes burning out from under bushy eyebrows, the only visible hair anywhere on him. He glowered at Bayonetta, and then barked something at the woman behind the counter. Bayonetta's Sumerian was rusty - what little she knew of it, anyway - but she was able to catch the words 'banish', 'witch', 'ghosts', and 'beacon' in his rant.

"Oh get off it, Pops!" the woman snapped back. "I don't listen to riders' superstitious nonsense, and neither should you!"

The man glowered at her for a time, a glower met with a stare and crossed arms. Eventually he turned to glare at Bayonetta. His eyes then flicked to Shantae, only to nearly pop out of his head. Spinning back to the woman, he ranted something else entirely, and Bayonetta was unable to catch any of it this time.

"Well don't _you_ change your tune fast!" the woman joked. "Better be on good terms with her if you want knee-bouncing privileges, though."

As Bayonetta chuckled softly, the man glowered at her, threw his hands up in frustration before pronouncing something that roughly translated - at least partially - to "God save the blind fools," and stormed back into the kitchen.

"Sorry about him," the woman apologized. "Superstitious old geezer."

"I know how that gets," Bayonetta allowed with a smile. "It doesn't bother me in the slightest. Though which of us was he calling a witch?"

The woman's eyebrows climbed. "You understood him?"

"A little bit," she allowed. "It sounded a bit like Sumerian in grammar, and what little of that language I know is rusty. What language was it?"

"No idea," the woman replied. "My boy and I grew up hearing it, so we know more or less what he's saying even if we don't speak it ourselves." She snorted derisively. "He claims he was born before the Tower of Babel fell, and there's a spell that lets his blood understand him. Like I said, superstitious old geezer."

Bayonetta smiled softly. "Indeed," she allowed as she let that turn over in her mind. After all, she herself had lived for over 500 years, and would live forever as long as she killed an angel every day to meet her contract with Madama Butterfly. Far be it for her to doubt wonders she had yet to dream of.

"Here," the woman spoke up, handing over a key. "Room 13. Not the best or worst room, but no one ever wants it, the superstitious idiots. You don't believe any of that, do you?"

Bayonetta's smile turned mysterious. "Let us say instead that I am not afraid of it," she corrected, taking the key. "Then I'm hired?"

"We'll see how you do for a week," the woman replied. "Room, board, and tips. If business is good and I like how you work, we'll talk longer times."

"My thanks," Bayonetta purred happily. "I'm Bayonetta, and this is Shantae." She lifted Shantae a little as she curled up tighter.

The woman nodded. "Name's Hellen," she replied, the second 'L' noticeable in her pronunciation. "M'boy's named Dave. No idea how to pronounce Pop's name, everyone just calls him Pops. I'll send Dave to wake you when it's time to work."

Bayonetta smiled warmly. "I'll try not to shock him...too much," she promised impishly...only to have to suppress a laugh when she saw the mischievous smirk on Hellen's face. Scooping up Shantae, she turned to step out. "I'll move my bike to the right space," she said as she left.

Hellen nodded as she watched her go. "Here's hoping she's not more trouble than she's worth," she muttered as she stalked back to the office.


	4. Chapter 4

As she'd intended, Bayonetta woke well before sunrise in her bed in room 13. The bed wasn't in any way uncomfortable, but she wanted to see about meeting her quota before work hours started so she didn't have it hanging over her head. Glancing over, she saw that Shantae was still sleeping comfortably on the towels in the laundry basket where Bayonetta had set her down the previous night. From her breathing, it didn't look like she'd wake for a while. Slipping into Purgatorio, Bayonetta slipped out of bed and out the window, seeking an Angel to hunt.

As she'd perceived, angels passed through the area quite frequently, and at the moment several were on a march in anticipation of the dawn. Slipping up behind the group, she waited until they were all focused before picking off the one at the back of the march, a quick slash through the throat delivering a lethal blow while also silencing it so the others would not realize its demise until she was gone. Moving quickly, she gathered up the halos it burst into and rushed back to her room. While she couldn't get back into the Gates to spend them until Shantae's magic was stabilized, that was no reason to not gather them up.

As she slipped back in the window and out of Purgatorio, she heard knocking at the door. A quick glance showed it was Dave, a bundle of fabric in his arms. Deciding to be a little impish - as Hellen apparently intended her to be if the mischievous smirk when she'd mentioned not shocking Dave 'too much' was any indication - she grabbed up a towel that wasn't part of Shantae's bed and let her hair unwrap from her body entirely. Seeing the towel wasn't quite big enough to wrap around her, she held it against her instead as she opened the door. "Oh, is it time to start working already?" she asked archly as Dave froze, his face alternately turning bright red and pale as a sheet as his blood couldn't decide which way to flow. "And here I was just about to take a shower..."

"U...uniform..." Dave barely managed to gasp out, holding the bundle of fabric out.

"Oh thank you," she offered warmly, reaching forward to take it...leaving the towel to cling to her curves on its own, with the implication - but not the reality - that it might slip as she bent over to take the bundle from his arms. "You are such a dear." She gave him a playful kiss on the forehead before pulling back. Seeing the poor boy looked ready to faint, she turned him around and nudged him back towards the diner. "Tell Hellen I'll be in just as soon as I've cleaned up," she instructed him as she closed the door.

High pitched giggling drew her attention. Turning, she saw that Shantae was flopped over in the towels, rolling back and forth with laughter with her hands covering her face. Bayonetta chuckled. "Found that amusing, did you?" she asked archly.

Grinning eagerly, Shantae bounced up and down on the towels before striking a rather adorably innocent attempt at Bayonetta's own pose when she answered the door, then put her hands together with her eyes shining.

"You want me to teach you how to do that?" she asked in surprise. At Shantae's eager nod, Bayonetta let out a throaty laugh. "Just watch and learn, little one," she purred happily. "You'll figure out your own style that will come naturally to you. That's the key to something like this, don't let it seem forced." With that, she set the towel aside and went to see what state the shower in the bathroom was.

* * *

While the shower was crude as expected in the back of beyond, the water quality was high and felt wonderful on Bayonetta's skin. Her hair shed any filth automatically from her magic, so she simply let it scrub her all over as the water cascaded over her...and entertained herself mentally by imagining how any men who happened to get lucky enough to see this would react to the sight. When she pictured poor Dave's reaction, she couldn't help but laugh aloud.

Stepping out once she was completely clean, she examined the uniform laid out. It was every inch a classic 80s waitress outfit, matching the aesthetic of the diner. Red and white striped blouse and skirt, white apron, and a rather adorable striped hat with a white brim. However, it was also rather frumpy...and would probably fit rather badly on Bayonetta's own frame.

"Hmm...I can work with this," she murmured thoughtfully as she focused on her hair. At her mental command it took shape, altering color as it covered her form to do its best approximation of the outfit before her. Even as it was shaping, Bayonetta could see that it would be noticeably different. The blouse fit her torso - as expected - like a second skin, the neckline low enough to expose a bit of her impressive cleavage. The skirt, rather than flaring out, flowed down against her legs almost - but not quite - to her knees, with only a bit of fluttering at the hemline. Her gun heels were complimented by long white nylons that stopped just a bit below the hemline of her skirt, leaving a bit of skin showing. The apron extended up her torso, molding to her in a rather suggestive manner. The only part that actually looked like the outfit before her was the hat, which sat fetchingly in her hair at a rather rakish angle. "Wonder how I'll explain this if I need to..."

Shantae giggled happily, toddling over to Bayonetta's side and taking hold of the strings hanging down from her apron, gripping them lightly. Her own outfit still had the vest, though it seemed to have closed itself over her front making the outfit look adorable rather than possibly inappropriate for her age. Smiling, Bayonetta walked out of the room, heading for the diner with Shantae toddling after her, clutching the strings.

As they entered the diner, Hellen raised an eyebrow at the sight of the pair. "Dunno what this will do to our reputation, but you're bound and determined to get good tips, aren't you?" she asked with a smirk.

"I just want to do a good job," Bayonetta offered archly. "And an important part of that is a good...first impression..." She sauntered in to pick up a clipboard for jotting down orders. Shantae toddled along behind, one hand gripping the strings while the other also grabbed a clipboard and pen for making notes.

"Well, you'll certainly make an impression," Hellen mused, fighting down a smirk.


	5. Chapter 5

Bayonetta stood calmly at rest in the restaurant, waiting calmly for anyone to actually show up to wait on. Apparently it was a slow day so far, and the only entertainment she had so far was watching Dave struggle not to trip over his tongue - or other things - anytime she shifted to a different pose, as none of the poses she could comfortably take while waiting failed to be enticing at the least if not flat out provocative. The old chef known only as 'Pops' gave Bayonetta an unfriendly glower anytime he stepped out to check for customers, but never failed to have a smile or a sweet in his pocket anytime he saw Shantae. The little one, for her part, had gotten bored of just sitting next to Bayonetta while waiting on something to do and had begun toddling around the restaurant, poking her nose into everything in the dining area and behind the counter.

"Are slow days frequent?" Bayonetta finally asked curiously, hoping for _something_ to break up the monotony. She was not used to not having _something_ to hold her attention for any length of time, and was seriously considering going on an early break to hunt some more angels.

"They aren't infrequent," Hellen allowed ruefully. "We're most likely to get regular customers real early or real late. This isn't really our busy season." She frowned towards Bayonetta, glancing at how well her uniform fit. "And those we do get this time of year are likely to be somewhat...rough." Her tone was somewhere between warning and resigned.

"The sort to see this-" Bayonetta gestured to the outfit. "-as an invitation?" Seeing Hellen's narrowed eyes, Bayonetta raised her eyebrow. "How far is it acceptable for me to go if I need to...discourage them?"

Hellen shrugged. "Long as they can walk out of here on their own two feet, I don't care _what_ you do to someone if they get too fresh," she allowed dismissively. "But anything that gets damaged in the process, you pay for."

"Is hobbling acceptable?" Bayonetta pressed archly, a smirk on her face.

Hellen chuckled. "If your goal is more customers for more tips, the more you can do the better. You'll get our regular customers stopping by to check out the rumors it'll start." She tugged lightly on her leather jacket as she spoke.

Noticing a spot where a color patch had once been attached to the jacket, Bayonetta couldn't help but smirk. "Well now, I'll just have to make sure the rumors are interesting, won't I?" she asked with a playful purr as she sauntered towards the door..

"And where are you going?" Hellen asked with a growl.

"I figured I'd clean a few windows," she allowed with a smirk. "Or maybe pick up some trash, or sweep up some leaves. Make sure anyone driving by sees this place as...inviting."

A lopsided smirk crossed Hellen's face as she shook her head ruefully. "Not worried about what the little 'un will learn from this?" she asked jovially.

Seeing Dave had retreated into the kitchen after 'Pops', Bayonetta's smirk widened. "She already saw me teasing Dave, and wants me to teach her how to do it," she purred impishly. As that set Hellen to laughing and Shantae to applauding from her seat on the counter, Bayonetta stepped outside to...advertise.

She took a brief glance around the front of the establishment, and immediately noticed the only real 'clean up' she could do was raking a few stray leaves out of the parking spaces right out front. Seeing a rake on the ground just outside some of the windows, she happily walked up to it before bending down to pick it up. The screech of brakes told her she'd already found her first catch of the day with that bait, and that it was time to reel it in. Turning as she stood up, she smirked as a car pulled into a spot. "Welcome," she greeted warmly as she walked up to the man stepping out of the driver's seat. "I hope you're...hungry," she purred warmly before turning to lead the way inside. A slight application of magic boosted cell signals so he could post from out here, just in case that occurred to him.

* * *

As Bayonetta had anticipated, once news got around about the 'new hot waitress' at the diner, quite a few people from the area came in to get something to eat or drink just to check her out. For her part, Bayonetta was more than happy to flirt and encourage those single diners who arrived, plying them for tips. A bit of flirtatious behavior was enough to separate healthy tips from the more uncertain young men who arrived on their own. As for the young women who arrived on their own, a bit of honest conversation - and a few pointers with demonstration for a confidence boost - was enough to get them leaving happy and with lightened wallets.

The really big tips, however, came from the families that arrived to check out the rumors. She'd at first been uncertain about how to approach the groups, as she didn't want to cause discord among them...least of all because that would mean no tips. However, by the time the first family arrived, Shantae had seen enough of how Bayonetta worked to want in on it, and had taken to toddling along after her, one hand clutching the apron strings while the other held a clipboard. While Bayonetta was taking the order, Shantae mimicked her movements on an empty stool, seeming to write on the clipboard as the diners ordered, the hat that had been given to Bayonetta to wear with her uniform on the little one's head, nearly too big for her and on occasion slipping down over one eye, only to be pushed back up with a frustrated pout. Shantae working so hard to 'live up' to Bayonetta won over quite a few people, and Shantae frequently walked away with a bigger tip than Bayonetta did...not that she minded. It was all going to their travel funds one way or the other anyway.

It was on towards evening when something Bayonetta had been expecting occurred. As she'd anticipated, her open and flirtatious behavior with customers eventually led to someone who was a bit more forward than was really acceptable, and she needed to demonstrate that it wasn't _that_ sort of establishment and that _she_ wasn't _that_ sort of waitress. As Hellen had warned, it came during the later hours when they started serving alcohol, and one particularly 'manly' customer had drunk perhaps more than was good for him. On an excess of machismo and a dearth of common sense and survival instincts, he made an attempt at what he thought was a pass as Bayonetta walked by him. "Why don'tcha have a seat and drink with me, sweet cheeks?" he demanded gruffly, swinging his hand to give her a swat on the rump.

For the sake of appearances, Bayonetta actually allowed his hand to make contact with her hair as it was shaped into her uniform, giving the appearance as if he'd actually swatted her rump without any actual contact. The moment the 'Smack!' echoed, the tray she was carrying was thrown into the air as she slipped into Witch Time. Reaching around behind her, she grabbed his wrist and pulled hard, flipping him around her body in a twirl before hurling him towards the front of the restaurant across the counter. Walking calmly ahead of his slow moving - to her Witch Time perspective - body, she gently lifted each tray and glass out of the way of his path before setting them back down before flipping over the counter to deliver a strong kick to his side, sending him flying towards the door. Another flip and she was at the door, holding it open so he sailed through, slipping her hand into his pocket to take the total of his bill out of his wallet before slipping it back in. She then walked back to catch her falling tray before dropping out of Witch Time as everyone stared, having - to their perspective - done the whole thing in a matter of split seconds. "His bill," she told Hellen as a loud crash announced the unpleasant customer impacting the dumpster head first. Bayonetta, for her part, simply set the bills and change down on the counter.

Hellen raised an eyebrow as she counted it out. "Don't think that's the end of that-" she began.

At that moment, the doors swung open. "You bitch!" the burly idiot declared as he reached into his pocket for something.

Bayonetta calmly placed her hand on the counter, using that leverage to flip herself around until she was standing on a stool on one foot, her other in the man's face with her heel aimed right at his eye. "You are mistaken," she purred darkly as - visible only to him - that gun heel cocked itself. "I am _the_ bitch, and I don't want pathetic pups like you widdling in my territory." She leaned down over her leg, crossing her arms to brace herself on her extended knee. "So how about you take your wimpy bark out of here...before I show you my bite?"

The man stared up at her, as did the entire rest of the restaurant. Noticing something, Bayonetta lowered her leg until the heel was pointed at a different - now somewhat moist - target. "Now what did I just say about widdling?" she chided in a disappointed tone, a 'tsk' audible in her words as she dug in her heel.

Letting out a squeal of fear, the man fled. As Bayonetta flipped herself back over the counter to land on her feet - uncocking her gun heel as she did - the entire restaurant burst into applause. Chuckling, she gave a brief bow before turning to Hellen. "Will I be paying the cleaning bill?" she asked archly, gesturing to where the man had been standing before he fled.

Hellen simply shook her head as she chuckled. "You don't do anything by halves, do you?" she asked bluntly. "They're going to love you..."

"They?" Bayonetta asked curiously.

"You'll see," Hellen purred, a wicked smirk on her face. "Won't take long for _those_ rumors to spread..."

As Bayonetta tilted her head curiously at Hellen's evasiveness, she suppressed a chuckle as Shantae walked around using her hat to collect the tips her 'show' had garnered. _Perhaps this won't be as bad as it seemed,_ the Umbra Witch thought to herself. _Not bad for a first day, after all..._


End file.
